elevatingpotential

Reflections on One of My Heroes: Shirley Curle – Grandma Curle – Mother-in-Law

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 00:20:52 GMT

Remembering Shirley Curle

Sadly, on November 29th, my beloved mother-in-law passed away after a period of advanced dementia. In the week that followed, as we prepared for her Celebration of Life, I found myself wanting to capture and share her spirit—because I genuinely believe hers was a life well lived.

A Woman of Many Talents and Deep Devotion

One of the most remarkable things about my mother-in-law was her multitude of gifts and skills. She placed her children and grandchildren above all else, and her unwavering dedication to family is truly something to be admired. Family was her world. She was always present for the significant milestones and celebrations—whether it was Dylan’s fourth-grade spelling bee, graduations, or birthdays. Weekends with us were a regular delight, and she often joined us for Christmas and Easter vacations. These visits were highlighted by her Sunday morning tradition: making delicious gluten-free pancakes for everyone, which were always a big hit with the boys.

Active and Engaged

Grandma was not one to sit idle; she was always on the move and preferred being engaged in activities rather than watching TV, which she humorously referred to as the “idiot box.” She would much rather play a game or work on a project with her hands.

An Artistic Soul

Her artistic talent was evident to all who knew her. Through drawing and painting classes at the Senior Center in Edmonton, she honed her skills. We displayed some of her beautiful artwork at her Celebration of Life, and their quality was apparent—so much so that several cousins asked if they could keep some of her pictures for themselves!

Crafting Treasures

Her creativity extended to knitting and crocheting as well. I have several scarves she made for me, which I deeply treasure, as well as intricately patterned mittens that the boys adore. Inheriting most of Grandma’s knitting needles has inspired me to pick up knitting again, hoping to create special pieces for my own children.

A Passion for Gardening

Grandma was also a devoted gardener. She loved hosting my boys at her home and often had them helping out in the garden. With a keen eye for landscaping, she planted many beautiful trees and shrubs, and her deck was always adorned with vibrant flower pots. While her vegetable garden had its ups and downs, it produced wonderful harvests when it thrived.

Simple and Delicious Cooking

Her love for gardening was complemented by her skills in the kitchen. She believed in simple, wholesome meals based on meat, vegetables, and starch, always making sure her food was delicious—and gluten free. After a weekend of enjoying her meals, I always noticed how much better I felt.

Creative Memories

Grandma’s creativity shone in memorable moments, such as when she visited us in Saskatoon while Dylan was about four or five. He had just discovered the joys of watching movies and using the rewind button on the VHS player, with “The Sound of Music” being his favorite. Knowing his love for bells, Grandma crafted a large grey bell costume out of coat hangers, cardboard, and duct tape for a local theater’s costume contest. Thanks to her ingenuity, Dylan won a prize for his bell costume.

Capturing Life’s Moments

An avid photographer, Grandma delighted in capturing the boys’ adventures along the banks of the Elbow River and their hikes in the area. Her photographs preserve precious memories of time spent in nature, throwing rocks and exploring together.

Games and Connection

Card games were another of Grandma’s passions. We played many games with her during her visits, and she especially enjoyed a game called GOLF with the boys. Unfortunately, it was during these games that we first noticed her memory difficulties, as she began to struggle with adding up the cards.

A Role Model for Retirement

Grandma served as an inspiring role model for retirement. She was highly active in her community, particularly at the Northgate Lions Senior Center, where she volunteered every Friday at the front desk. She eagerly participated in art, writing, drawing, and pottery classes, and was a dedicated member of the choir. We were pleasantly surprised to learn of her involvement in the center’s musical theater group, often singing, acting, and delighting audiences in costume. A fellow volunteer even created a beautiful photo album commemorating her many stage performances—an aspect of her life that brought her great joy and was previously unknown to us.

Enduring Gratitude

I will miss Grandma immensely. She was an extraordinary mother-in-law and grandmother, and I am profoundly grateful that she played such a significant role in our lives. We all loved her dearly.

Weeks 4 and 5 Post Radiation Treatment: Progress and Gratitude

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 03:14:28 GMT

Week 4 Update

This week marked a significant milestone in my recovery journey. On November 18th, I made the bold decision to have my feeding tube (NG tube) removed. Leading up to this, I felt nervous and apprehensive since I had not been eating much, and my throat pain remained substantial—about a 7 out of 10 when eating. Despite these concerns, I drew strength from the support and advice of a new friend, Lyle, whom I met at the Head and Neck Cancer Support Group. Lyle, now six months ahead of me in his own recovery, encouraged me by sharing that eating became much easier once his feeding tube was removed. The tube removal itself was surprisingly quick and uneventful, taking just thirty seconds for the nurse to pull it out. The relief was immediate, and it truly felt glorious to be free of it! Another reason for my decision was the hope that removing the tube would help alleviate the sleep difficulties I had been experiencing, as I suspected the tube was contributing to my challenges with rest.

Another important event in week 4 was my check-up with my Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Banargee. I was relieved to hear that he was pleased with my progress and felt that I was “on track” again, especially after the setback I experienced during week 3 post-radiation.

Additionally, week 4 included a visit with an Energy Medicine Practitioner, recommended by my friend Cathy Wareham. I found the session very beneficial; she focused on my throat area for a considerable amount of time, and I honestly noticed an improvement in my throat pain following the consultation. I definitely plan to see her again in the future.

Week 5 Update

In week 5, I continued to make incremental progress in my eating habits. Each day, I managed to eat a little more, focusing primarily on soft foods. Although my weight has continued to decrease—both while on the feeding tube and now that I am eating on my own—I am working on increasing my caloric intake. My stomach capacity remains limited, likely due to shrinking over the past weeks, but I am determined to gradually build it back up by eating a bit more each day.

Family Support and Special Moments

Over these past two weeks, I have been fortunate to have meaningful visits from family. My sons came to see me during the weekend of November 8th, and their presence was a tremendous source of strength and joy. We enjoyed each other’s company, played Catan, and celebrated with Darcy’s version of Thanksgiving Dinner.

My sister Ann also flew in from Kauai for an eight-day visit. Her encouragement was instrumental in helping me transition off the feeding tube and increase my food intake. Together with my sister and brother, we celebrated my birthday with a wonderful dinner. On the second night, they prepared a delicious beef tenderloin—a 3-pound roast that was quite the splurge, but absolutely worth it. I could tell my body appreciated the real protein. Ann and I shared many special moments, including a memorable outing for a pedicure and my first trip to a shopping center in over five months. That bit of retail therapy was uplifting and much needed.

Reflecting on these weeks, I am deeply grateful for the unwavering love and support of my family—my sons, siblings, sister-in-law Leslie, and Darcy. This journey, though challenging, has brought us even closer together. I continue to be amazed at how this cancer journey is strengthening the bonds with those dearest to me, and I am incredibly thankful for the love and encouragement they have shown.

Week 3 Post Radiation Treatment Update

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 20:41:20 GMT

Progress and Challenges During Recovery

This week began with a sense of optimism, as it felt like I was finally turning a corner in my recovery after radiation treatment. However, I have noticed that this phase of recovery can be unpredictable, often feeling like one step forward and two steps back on certain days.

Positive Developments

· Improved Sleep: Overall, my sleep has shown some improvement compared to previous weeks. Unlike earlier in the recovery process, I am no longer moving between beds and chairs during the night.

· Progress Toward Eating Normally: At the start of the week, I made an effort to eat small amounts of food in hopes of eventually discontinuing the feeding tube. On a couple of days, I was able to successfully consume a smoothie, some cream of wheat cereal, and soup.

· Healing from Radiation Burn: The burn on my neck from radiation appears to be nearly fully healed, which is a significant relief.

Ongoing Challenges

· Sprained Ankle: After getting up too quickly from a nap on the couch, I twisted my ankle, resulting in a slight sprain. My foot swelled, and I have been unable to go for outdoor walks, which has been frustrating. Regular icing and elevating my leg have helped, and after about five days, the swelling is mostly gone. I am now able to hobble around, but I miss my daily walks. I hope to resume small walks in a few days.

· Oral Virus: I have developed a virus in my mouth, leading to bumps and lesions on my tongue. The soreness has made eating very difficult, so I have decided to pause my attempts at eating for a few days to allow my tongue to heal. I am picking up a prescription today that I hope will help clear up the lesions. This setback has delayed my plan to get off the feeding tube. While it is important for my recovery to resume eating, I am realizing that my mouth needs time to heal first. Patience is crucial, and I am hopeful that each day will bring me closer to regaining my appetite and healing my taste buds. Eating remains a challenging process, and although I know how important it is, I need to persist.

· Seeking Support: Recognizing that I may need additional help, I have decided to attend a Head and Neck Cancer support group tonight. I hope to gain insights and advice from others who have experienced similar challenges during their recovery.

Week 2 Post Radiation Treatment Update

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 21:35:59 GMT

Overview

As of today, it has been two weeks since my last radiation treatment. While progress has been gradual, there have been some encouraging signs of improvement over the past week.

What’s Going Well

The radiation burn on my neck has healed remarkably well. I attribute this improvement to Darcy’s excellent nursing and dressing skills. I no longer need to use a dressing bandage; instead, I am applying a generous amount of cream to keep my neck cool and comfortable. Although the skin on my neck remains slightly pink, it looks significantly better than the bright red it was during my treatments.

Another positive development is the reduction in my phlegm problem. Staying hydrated by drinking plenty of water has helped signal to my body that it does not need to produce excess phlegm. This improvement is largely due to timely reminders to maintain my fluid intake.

I have also begun to eat small amounts of real food to exercise my swallowing muscles. Swallowing remains quite painful, but pain medications are helping me manage.

Current Challenges

Throat pain continues to be severe, currently at 9 out of 10. Now that I am two weeks post-radiation, I am hopeful that healing will accelerate in the coming days.

I am experiencing more frequent episodes of gagging and spitting up. The triggers are unclear, but these episodes often arise unexpectedly. As a result, I have had to resume using some of the anti-nausea medications that were necessary during my chemotherapy weeks.

Sleep remains a challenge. However, I have gotten better at sleeping in my feeding chair and taking brief cat naps throughout the day.

Brain fog is still affecting my memory and other cognitive functions. I am optimistic that this significant side effect will diminish over time.

Focus for the Coming Week

In the coming week, my primary goals are to continue eating small amounts of soft foods to improve my swallowing ability and to work on achieving better quality sleep.

Week 1 Post-Treatments: Entering Recovery

Sun, 26 Oct 2025 21:15:34 GMT

My new look - Anita uncovered

Transitioning into Recovery

On Monday, October 20th, I completed my final radiation treatment, marking the beginning of what I call the “recovery phase.” In this period, Darcy and I have chosen to keep a very low profile for a couple of weeks. This decision is primarily due to my compromised immunity, being at the lowest point in my chemotherapy cycle, and the increasing difficulty I’m experiencing with speaking.

What to Expect in the First Two Weeks

We were advised that the first two weeks after finishing treatment can remain quite challenging, as my body continues to process the effects of chemotherapy and radiation. Some people have described this phase as being in the “Eye of the Storm,” while others report fewer difficulties. I am open to experiencing my own reality, and here is what my first week of recovery has looked like.

Positive Developments

Ø Overall, I am feeling okay.

Ø We have improved our approach to feeding with the tube, which has been a significant help.

Ø I have managed to go outside for a walk every day, and sometimes even twice daily.

Ø My Radiation burns on my neck are healing nicely

Ø Darcy continues to be a constant support, handling everything around the house and taking care of me.

Current Challenges

Ø Significant throat pain persists, making swallowing difficult.

Ø Phlegm and mucus production continues to be an issue, with some days better than others.

Ø The ongoing phlegm and mucus make it hard to get quality sleep, leading to exhaustion and compounding other challenges.

Ø I am continuing to lose weight.

Strategies for Coping

Ø Keeping the big picture in mind:

Ø I remind myself that improvement is only a matter of days away. Remaining calm and envisioning what I might be doing a year from now helps me maintain perspective.

Ø Staying busy with hobbies and tasks:

Ø I keep myself occupied with activities like knitting, reading—even though brain fog has made this challenging—solving puzzles, playing cards, and playing the piano. I am also using this time to catch up on tasks I’ve put off, such as organizing and filing in my office. I even began rewatching Pride and Prejudice from some old VHS tapes!

Ø Addressing brain fog:

Ø I am enrolled in a Brain Fog course through Wellsprings, a charity that provides support programs for cancer patients and their families. My own experience with brain fog has been clear, as I was late to one session and missed another entirely, only realizing after a faculty member called me. Brain fog is characterized by challenges with memory, verbal skills, concentration, and executive function. Although chemotherapy is commonly cited as a cause, my instructor emphasized that it is not the only one, and cancer is not the sole condition associated with it.

Daily Adaptations

No matter where I am in the house, you will find me with my Trusty Red Folgers containers, which serve as my spittoons. I always keep them nearby

Completion of Radiation and Chemotherapy Treatments

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 17:33:57 GMT

Formal Radiation and Chemotherapy Treatments Complete

I am pleased to announce that on Monday, October 20th, I underwent my final radiation treatment. Reaching this milestone has brought me a great sense of relief.

Do check out the video where I am ringing the GONG in the Arthur Child Cancer Center Courtyard

Ringing a bell in the context of cancer treatment symbolizes and celebrates the completion of a patient's therapy, marking a significant milestone. The tradition, which began in 1996 at the MD Anderson Cancer Center , is now a worldwide ritual that provides a sense of accomplishment, hope, and emotional release for patients, families, and the medical staff.

The Recovery Phase

With the completion of all formal radiation and chemotherapy sessions, I am now entering the recovery phase. During this time, my primary objectives are to facilitate the healing of my throat so that I can resume eating independently. Additionally, I aim to regain some of the strength and immunity that were diminished by the chemotherapy treatments.

Plans for the Immediate Future

Over the next two weeks, I plan to remain at home in a self-imposed quarantine. This approach is intended to minimize the risk of infection as my body begins to recover. My doctors have indicated that the recovery process will likely take several months.

Upcoming Follow-Up and Next Steps

A follow-up chest and head and neck CT scan is scheduled for December 30th. The results from this scan will help determine the effectiveness of the treatments. I expect to receive a definitive answer regarding the remission of the tumors by mid-January.

Reflections Moving Forward

I am becoming increasingly aware that my life from this point forward will be shaped by the experience of living in the shadow of cancer. My thoughts and feelings about this reality are still evolving, and I intend to reflect more deeply on this as I progress through my recovery.

Discovering a Path to Rest: ANITA Strategies and Prayer Lead to a Midnight Miracle

Sun, 19 Oct 2025 02:03:36 GMT

Returning to ANITA Strategies

New Paragraph

On Tuesday, October 14th, I completed my third and final chemotherapy session. By the end of the day, I felt completely exhausted, but I held onto a sense of hope. I had recently discovered that turning my head to the side while swallowing was helping to alleviate my phlegm issue, which offered some relief.

However, the challenge of getting quality sleep still loomed large. Having struggled through five consecutive nights of poor sleep, I realized that I urgently needed a new approach. My previous strategy involved stacking a wedge and multiple pillows to prop myself upright in bed, hoping this would prevent phlegm from collecting at the back of my throat. Unfortunately, this tactic was not providing the restful sleep I needed.

Returning to ANITA Strategies

Determined to find a solution, I decided to revisit some of the ANITA approaches that had been helpful in the past. I began by tuning into my body, embracing a practice that Coach Tina had encouraged—being present, staying curious, and asking myself, "What do I need right now?" This self-inquiry led me first to a jaw release exercise taught by Coach Marlene. The technique involves clasping my hands together in a semi-prayer position and shaking them up and down in front of my body. This movement aims to release tension in my jaw, neck, and shoulders through my arms.

Next, I put on my Buyko Belt, which wraps snugly around my diaphragm and helps direct my focus to diaphragmatic breathing. Drawing upon deeper breathing exercises I learned from my yoga instructor, Matthew, I took time to slow my breath and center myself. I also practiced the "triple warmer smoothie," an energy medicine exercise introduced to me by a former client, Cathy, which helps calm the body's fight, flight, or freeze response. I find this routine particularly relaxing.

To further prepare for sleep, I spent five minutes practicing the "breathing light for sleep" exercise from the Oxygen Advantage App. This technique involves creating a gentle sense of air hunger, which has proven effective in helping me fall asleep.

The Power of Prayer and a Simple Change

After completing these routines, I began praying the Lord’s Prayer aloud several times, asking specifically for a good night’s rest. At that moment, I was still sitting up in bed, surrounded by my usual stack of pillows. Then, I had another idea: perhaps I should abandon the wedge and extra pillows and try sleeping with just my regular two-pillow setup. To my surprise, this simple change made all the difference. I fell asleep, woke at 2:00 AM with a dry mouth and some pain, addressed those symptoms, and then returned to bed—ultimately sleeping until 9:30 in the morning. That night felt like a true miracle, and I was elated to finally experience restful sleep again.

Lasting Relief and Gratitude

Curious whether this was a one-time occurrence, I followed the same winddown routine with the ANITA strategies the next night. Much to my delight, it worked again. I am now able to sleep, and this improvement has had a profoundly positive effect on everything else in my life. I am deeply grateful to all the coaches who have taught me these valuable new strategies and approaches.

The Missing Piece That Helped Solve My Phlegm Challenge

Sun, 19 Oct 2025 01:58:35 GMT

Struggling With Phlegm After Feeding Tube Placement

Two days after my feeding tube was inserted, I began experiencing significant trouble with thick mucous and phlegm accumulating at the back of my throat. Radiation treatments had impaired my two main saliva glands, but two other saliva glands in my body, unaffected by the radiation, started working overtime to compensate. Unfortunately, this resulted in the production of thicker phlegm instead of the saliva I needed.

To manage this issue, I followed guidance to rinse and gargle frequently with Club soda or a bland salt and baking soda solution. Additionally, I used a red liquid called Lidocain, which helped soothe the pain in my mouth. At times, I even swallowed some Lidocain to ease my sore throat, which felt like a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale.

Challenges During Thanksgiving Weekend

During Thanksgiving weekend, the feeding tube seemed to trigger even more phlegm production. I found myself spitting frequently into my red spittoon (my recycled Folgers coffee can) The situation caused tension in my shoulders and jaw, and I had trouble breathing while feeding. Matters escalated on Saturday morning when I vomited my breakfast, a deeply unpleasant experience. We concluded that the feeding tube’s drip was running too fast for my body to handle.

Lack of sleep compounded these issues. Since Thursday, I had not enjoyed a decent night’s rest. Every time I lay down, phlegm production increased, forcing me to cough, sit up, and spit out the mucous. I bounced between my bed with a wedge, a rocking chair, and the basement couch, but no combination offered real relief or rest.

Emotional Regulation and Support

I was aware that I was having difficulty regulating my body, especially with managing my "fight, flight, or freeze" response. During this challenging time, Darcy stepped in with comforting words and gentle back rubs, continuously reassuring me that I would get through this. His positive energy and support had a noticeably calming effect, helping me endure the feeding process. This made me realize the power of the SAGE Contagion effect—his encouragement and optimism directly improved my ability to cope.

Discovering the Missing Piece

Tuesday, October 14th, marked an important milestone as it was the day of my final chemo treatment. I was anxious, sleep-deprived, and still struggling with excessive mucous production and throat pain. Before my treatment, I ran into my speech therapist, Julie, who offered to visit me once I was settled in my chair. Reviewing the handout she had previously given me, I finally grasped its significance: dysphagia , or difficulty swallowing caused by both the cancer and radiation, can lead to weight loss, dehydration, increased risk of lung infection, and reduced quality of life.

The handout emphasized that swallowing is a "use it or lose it" muscle. If swallowing muscles are not regularly exercised, they weaken over time and become increasingly difficult to rehabilitate. This realization heightened my anxiety, as I was barely swallowing due to throat pain.

When Julie arrived, she guided me through a series of exercises and suggested I try swallowing with my head turned to the left—the side most affected by the tumor and radiation. To my surprise, turning my head allowed the liquid to find a different path, causing only a slight twinge of pain on the right side of my throat. This simple adjustment was transformative, immediately reducing my pain and calming my mucous production. From then on, I took a sip of water with my head turned to the left every time I coughed up phlegm.

Improvement Through Consistent Practice

In the days following, I consistently performed my jaw and throat exercises and noticed a marked decrease in phlegm production, which helped me feel calmer. I now understand the importance of continuing to swallow regularly, and I am deeply grateful to Julie for her timely intervention. Her guidance has made a profound difference in my recovery and comfort, and I will always appreciate her support.

The Evolving Relationship with My Sister Ann

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 17:32:10 GMT

Growing closer to my sister has been a GIFT!

One of the unexpected gifts of my cancer journey has been the deepening and transformation of my relationship with my younger sister, Ann. In many ways, my cancer diagnosis has brought us closer, shifting our dynamic from what was at times a primarily one-sided relationship into one that is now more open and reciprocal. This change has created a new sense of connection and support between us.

Our Daily Routine

Ann and I make it a point to connect every day, engaging in a brief routine that helps us both physically and emotionally. Our routine starts with a High Impact Workout—though to be honest, some days the workout is less intense, but the important thing is that we keep moving. The workout lasts about ten minutes and includes some stretching exercises.

After this, I do my jaw and throat exercises, with Ann always finding a way to make me laugh during the process. We close out our routine with a set of affirmations and usually finish with a five-minute meditation. I typically complete this routine before heading to the hospital, and it helps me prepare mentally and physically for my treatments.

Ann’s Reaction and Perspective on Cancer

Ann took the news of my diagnosis quite hard. Hearing the words “I have cancer” can be a real wakeup call, as we are all aware that in many cases the outcomes can be dire for those who receive such news. However, through this journey, I have learned that significant advancements in research and technology over the years have made a tremendous difference in outcomes.

We learned from one of the cancer volunteers that 44 years ago, 75% of people diagnosed with Terry’s type of cancer did not survive. Today, more than 75% of patients live. This progress is truly remarkable. I now know many people—even within my own circle—who have been diagnosed with some form of cancer yet continue to live full lives. Some are in complete remission, while others are not, but they are still actively living with their cancer.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 12:36:24 GMT

Reflections on Thanksgiving and Family

Gratitude for Family Togetherness

One of the unexpected gifts that has come from my cancer journey is the increased frequency with which my two sons have come home. They both visited together over the September long weekend, and there have been other occasions when each has come separately. These visits have truly made me feel blessed, as spending time with my sons is always a source of joy and comfort.

Thanksgiving Plans and Anticipation

This Thanksgiving weekend, I am especially grateful for our family's decision to postpone the traditional celebration. Rather than bringing the boys home for Thanksgiving, we have chosen to move our festivities to November. Our plan is to celebrate not only Thanksgiving but also the completion of my treatments and my birthday, all in one gathering. I am hopeful that by then, I will be in better health—perhaps even off the feeding tube—so I can enjoy some turkey alongside everyone.

Quiet Weekend Learnings

Darcy and I spent a quiet but somewhat eventful weekend together. We had some important learnings about managing my feeding tube, which were necessary and helpful for both of us.

Thankfulness for Support

I want to express my deep gratitude for Darcy and all the support he has provided over the past few months. He has been an exceptional caregiver, nurse, and husband—truly the best I could ever hope for.

When we were younger, Darcy used to tease me by saying that I “hit it out of the park,” a baseball expression meaning I made a really good choice. Looking back, I wholeheartedly agree: I did “hit it out of the park!”

Week 6 Update

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 17:55:20 GMT

Feeling Like a Cancer Patient

This week has marked a turning point in my journey, as I now fully recognize and accept that I am a cancer patient. Several changes have contributed to this realization. One of the biggest factors is my appearance—having a feeding tube protruding from my nose is a visible reminder of what I am going through. Additionally, I wear a large bandage around my neck to protect the radiation burns, which further emphasizes the impact of treatment.

My voice has also become noticeably raspy, and I find myself frequently needing to clear my throat. These symptoms are persistent and quite bothersome, serving as constant reminders of both my diagnosis and the side effects of treatment. All these elements together have made me feel more like a cancer patient than at any previous point in my journey.

The Toughest Week Yet

Week 6 stood out as particularly difficult due to the accumulation of side effects from both chemotherapy and radiation treatments. While this array of symptoms is tough to manage, I am hopeful that things will not get worse from here.

Starting the Feeding Tube

The week began with the initiation of the feeding tube, a major adjustment in my daily routine. I am grateful to Darcy, who has taken on the responsibility of managing my feeds. With his help, I am gradually working my way up to consuming five cans of feed per day.

Managing Phlegm and Throat Discomfort

Another symptom that intensified this week is the persistent phlegm in the back of my throat. It is an unpleasant and uncomfortable experience. To address this, I have started gargling with club soda, which helps break up the mucous. Unfortunately, the relief is often short-lived, as the buildup returns within minutes.

Sleep Challenges

Sleeping has become increasingly difficult, mainly due to the need to frequently clear my throat. To cope, I now sleep in a nearly upright position. Thankfully, our couch in the rumpus room is exceptionally comfortable and allows me to remain mostly upright while still getting some rest.

Radiation Burns and Wound Care

This week, the burns from radiation on my neck have become more problematic, resulting in open wounds that require bandaging. The nurses have been bandaging me for the past couple of days, but moving forward, Darcy will take over this responsibility. Nurse Darcy is doing an excellent job putting dressings on my neck!.

Progress and Looking Ahead

As challenging as this week has been, we are now in the home stretch of treatment. I have completed 28 out of 33 scheduled radiation treatments, which amounts to 88% completion. There is just one more full dose of chemotherapy left, scheduled for Tuesday. My final radiation treatment will take place on Monday, October 20th.

What to Expect After Treatment

Once my treatments are finished, I have been informed that the next two weeks may still present some challenges. However, the experience is unique for each individual, and I remain hopeful as I move forward.

Darcy and I are both looking forward to the completion of the Radiation and Chemotherapy treatments. It has been overwhelming and exhausting. Both of us started reflecting on what comes after treatment….no clear answers yet. No doubt it will involve more change.

My meditation guide reminded me this morning that fighting change is futile, and what would it be like to get comfortable with uncertainty? HMMMM Maybe we will find a new rhythm that will help us ride a new wave of change after this experience with Cancer.

The Importance of Nutrition in My Cancer Recovery

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 01:21:13 GMT

Nutrition: A Critical Factor in Healing

Eating and nutrition are vital to my recovery. This belief led me to request a feeding tube today, marking a significant step in my journey. From the very beginning at the Arthur Child, the medical team emphasized how essential nutrition would be, especially given the specific challenges associated with my type of cancer. As my treatments progressed, I was warned that getting enough calories would become increasingly difficult.

Early Expectations and Personal Determination

Initially, when I was introduced to the concept of nasogastric tubes, I doubted they would be necessary for me. I was confident that my love of eating and my understanding of nutrition's role in recovery would enable me to consume the calories I needed without additional support. I believed my resilience would be enough.

The Unexpected Impact of Radiation

However, I was not fully prepared for the effects of radiation treatment. By week 3, I began developing oral mucositis—painful open sores caused by the treatment. My struggles that week were likely compounded by not taking enough pain medication. In week 4, things improved slightly as my pain was better managed, allowing me to eat small meals, though very slowly. But by week 5, eating became nearly impossible.

Adapting to New Challenges

During week 5, I could no longer eat solid foods, so Darcy started making me smoothies. To boost their nutritional value, most smoothies were made with Boost as the base. Despite Darcy’s creativity, my body did not respond well, and I began gagging. As my sore throat worsened, even sipping water became a struggle. Thankfully, the nurses provided extra hydration treatments, which helped compensate for my inability to eat.

Making the Decision for a Feeding Tube

This Monday morning, it took me two hours to finish my breakfast smoothie, and the process was agonizing. During my hydration treatment, I asked the nurse to explain more about nasogastric tubes and consulted with my nutritionist Brynne, who supported the idea. Once I decided to proceed, I felt a sense of relief.

The Procedure and Moving Forward

I approached the procedure with optimism, and thanks to our wonderful nurse Melva, who took the time to explain everything, I felt prepared. With her guidance and some positive intention, the tube was inserted smoothly in less than thirty seconds. My first meal through the tube was a strange sensation—I could feel my stomach filling up. Tomorrow, Darcy and I will demonstrate to the nurses that we learned the proper technique for feeding, and we will set up my meal under their supervision. Wish us luck!

Week 5 Reflections: Gratitude for the Level 3 Day Surgical Procedures Ward Nurses

Sun, 05 Oct 2025 00:14:50 GMT

Gratitude to all the Amazing Nurses who supported me

During Week 5, I faced significant challenges, particularly with eating and experiencing considerable pain whenever I tried to swallow. This period was especially difficult for me, making each day feel like a struggle.

I found immense support and care from the nurses on the Level 3 Day Surgical Procedures Ward.

Their dedication went far beyond administering my additional IV treatments; they offered genuine compassion and concern, providing the comfort and reassurance I needed during a challenging week.

Thanks to their kindness and expertise, I also left with some new strategies to help me manage my situation. The nurses on this ward are truly amazing people, and I am deeply grateful for their unwavering support and the exceptional care they provided me.

Many Gifts: Sisterhood

Sat, 04 Oct 2025 23:58:59 GMT

The evolving bond with

my sister-in-law Leslie

One of the most profound gifts to emerge from my experience with Throat cancer has been the transformation and deepening of my relationship with my sister-in-law, Leslie Garland. From the very beginning, Leslie offered invaluable support as I struggled to accept the possibility of a serious health challenge. Her presence and guidance have played a significant role throughout my journey.

Early Support and Insight

During one of Leslie’s Positive Intelligence Pod group calls, I shared my awareness of changes in my relationship with my husband, particularly regarding the ways he was supporting me as I underwent further medical testing. I also mentioned my intention not to share anything about my condition with my two sons, hoping to spare them unnecessary worry. Interestingly, many participants in the call understood my perspective and agreed with my approach.

A Different Perspective

Leslie, however, offered an alternative view. She suggested that by sharing my situation with my sons, I could demonstrate openness and invite their guidance and support, regardless of whether the diagnosis turned out to be serious or not. After the meeting, Leslie called me to elaborate on her thoughts, which had a significant impact on me. Her words reminded me of a time when my own mother waited until two days before her scheduled surgery to inform me about the procedure. At the time, I felt blindsided and upset, having to rearrange my commitments to support her. As a doctor, my mother understood the seriousness of her condition, yet she chose to downplay it until the last moment. This memory highlighted the importance of transparency within families during times of health challenges.

Choosing Honesty with My Family

Motivated by Leslie’s intervention, I decided to call my sons and let them know I was facing a health challenge, even though I had little information other than the fact that I was undergoing tests. Looking back, I am grateful for Leslie’s advice, as it helped me realize that honesty with my family is truly the best approach. Her influence has been instrumental in shaping how I navigate these difficult moments, and I am thankful for the strengthened bond between us.

Warmth and Generosity

Throughout the past several months, both Leslie and my brother Michael have demonstrated remarkable support. Their generosity has been a source of immense comfort during this challenging period. Michael, in his caring way, has brought me some of his well-loved homemade soups, providing not only nourishment but also a sense of normalcy and connection. Meanwhile, Leslie has consistently offered thoughtful gifts that have brought light to difficult days.

One especially memorable gesture was when Leslie dropped by one evening with a beautiful heart sculpture. This gift holds deep meaning for me. Its aesthetic beauty is striking, but it also serves a practical purpose: I find comfort in holding the sculpture, running my fingers over the smooth and rough surfaces. The tactile experience resonates with me, as it mirrors the journey I am on—full of both hardships and moments of grace.

The heart sculpture, carved from stone, serves as a powerful analogy. The rough and smooth parts represent the dual nature of life’s experiences. Facing Stage 3 cancer has certainly brought its share of rough moments, but there have also been many unexpected gifts—those smooth, comforting times that bring hope and strength. Among these gifts, the most profound has been discovering and learning about the warmth and generosity of my sister-in-law. This deepening relationship is a treasure, and I am truly grateful for it..

Aromatherapy with Cancer

Sat, 04 Oct 2025 23:52:40 GMT

Personal Experience with Aromatherapy During Cancer Treatment

Support from Friends

Recently, I received a thoughtful gift from my friend Susanne: a selection of Get-Well Products from SAJE, an online and retail store specializing in aromatherapy items.

Benefits of Aromatherapy Products

Among the products, I have found both the inhaler and the roll-on balm to be exceptionally helpful. As the effects of chemotherapy and radiation treatments continue to intensify, I find myself reaching for these items more frequently. Their soothing qualities provide much-needed balm and momentary relief.

Aromatherapy as Part of My Healing Toolkit

Having these aromatherapy products in my ANITA toolkit has been invaluable in supporting my healing journey. I am deeply grateful for their presence and the comfort they bring.

Week 4 Update – past the halfway mark!

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 22:24:03 GMT

57.6% Radiation Treatments Complete

67% Chemo Treatments Complete

Overview of Treatment and Medical Updates

During Week 4, I experienced a significant milestone in my treatment journey, as I underwent my second chemotherapy session on Tuesday. This was promptly followed by my routine weekly check-up with Dr. Banarjee. While I have been facing increased pain and difficulties with eating, Dr. Banarjee expressed satisfaction with my progress so far. In response to my symptoms, he adjusted my pain medication regimen, which I believe have been very beneficial in managing my discomfort.

Self-Care and Coping Strategies

In addition to the medical support, I have been making a conscious effort to show more empathy toward the challenges faced by my tongue and mouth, both of which have been affected by the treatment. This self-compassion has become an important part of my coping strategy.

Managing Cancer Fatigue and Exhaustion

The fatigue associated with cancer and its treatment has noticeably increased. There was a day this past week when my daily walk consisted of just a brief stroll to the outdoor swing, highlighting the extent of my exhaustion. I have found it necessary to take substantial naps each day to help my body recover. This past weekend was particularly notable, as I was delighted to have slept in until 11:00 AM on Saturday morning. I am prioritizing my need for rest and allowing myself extra time to recuperate, recognizing that my body clearly requires it.

My POOR Tongue

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 04:28:29 GMT

September 23rd: Second Chemo Treatment Day

The day began on a difficult note. I woke up twice during the night—first at 1:30 AM and then again at 4:30 AM—both times with severe throat pain. Knowing it would be a long day, I made an early start and was determined to eat well despite the discomfort. I performed my mouth rinses, hoping to ease the pain, and although the process was laborious, I managed to get some food down.

Coaching Session and Initial Relief

I was looking forward to a coaching session with my fellow PQ Coach, Tina, prior to heading to the hospital. Unfortunately, she had to address an urgent personal matter. Just as we were getting into the car, Tina called and asked how she could support me. I shared with her that my tongue felt like an “albatross” in my mouth. She then guided me through a brief Somatic coaching session, lasting about five to seven minutes. Tina encouraged me to focus on and become curious about the sensations in my mouth. As she guided my breathing and curiosity, I noticed my tongue began to soften, pulling away from the roof of my mouth and providing some relief from the pain.

Self-Reflection and Empathy

As I continued to reflect, I experienced a significant realization. I had been carrying a lot of angst and frustration in my mouth due to my ongoing struggles with eating and speaking clearly. I noticed that I was judging my tongue, feeling both angry and sad that it wasn’t functioning as it should.

Suddenly, I understood: my poor tongue! What it needed most from me was empathy, love, and understanding. Cancer cells had invaded my tongue, impairing its ability to work. Radiation treatments were now causing open sores. Despite all this trauma, I was still demanding my tongue do the hard work of getting food past my throat.

This insight helped me realize that the empathy I was extending to my tongue and mouth also needed to be directed toward myself. Being angry and upset about my situation was not helping. Instead, I needed to be more empathetic and kinder to myself—a challenging task, as self-empathy has never been my strong suit. Yet, I believe this is one of the gifts I am meant to learn from this experience.

Progress and Pain Management

Since I started practicing more empathetic thoughts toward my tongue, and with improved pain control through medication, my distress about eating has eased somewhat. This shift has made a noticeable difference in how I manage my symptoms and overall well-being.

A Cool Story, A Win and a GOOD Omen

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 04:00:47 GMT

Pickleball Tournament Day

Participating in the Tournament

On August 23rd, our lake community hosted its annual Pickleball Tournament. I had originally signed up for the event in July, prior to receiving my cancer diagnosis. However, the tournament was postponed due to rain. When the rescheduled day arrived, the weather was beautiful, and I decided to participate and play to the best of my ability given my circumstances.

The tournament organizers divided us into groups, and the format allowed for decent breaks between each game, which gave me time to relax and recover. After completing the main portion of the tournament—six games—I was exhausted. The heat, a pounding headache, and my need for a daily nap all caught up with me. As we waited for the playoffs to begin, I took the opportunity to meditate and practice breathing exercises. Sitting on the bench, I even managed a short power nap.

The Playoff Challenge

Just as I considered asking Darcy to find a substitute for me in the playoffs, I heard the organizer announce that the playoffs would consist of three additional games, with winners determined by points. Encouraged by my brief rest and some Advil alleviating my headache, I decided to continue and play the extra games.

In the final game, I was paired with Darcy, and together we won with ease. The award ceremony began, and to my surprise, I was announced as the Gold medal winner for the women, while Darcy received the Gold medal for the men. We were both invited onto the Pickleball court for a special presentation of the Damien Leroy Trophy.

Honoring Damien Leroy

Damien Leroy was a beloved Carefree lot owner with a passion for Pickleball. Tragically, he lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in November. To honor his memory, his family established an annual trophy in his name. During the presentation, Damien’s wife and daughter handed out this impressive trophy to the winners. I noticed their T-shirts, which featured a beautiful photo of Damien, and I shared with his wife that I remembered playing Pickleball with him the previous year. She was deeply touched to learn that both Darcy and I had known Damien, and she became emotional.

In that moment, a wave of emotion overcame me. I found myself confused about the purpose of the trophy—was it meant for Darcy as the male winner? I wondered if, perhaps, there might someday be a trophy for women as well. Would this trophy be in my name next year? The significance of the moment, combined with my personal struggles, brought me to tears. What made everything more surreal was that none of my Pickleball friends knew about my cancer diagnosis—I had been playing with Stage 3 cancer without telling anyone.

Reflecting on Resilience

After returning home, I was still processing the day’s events. With Darcy’s support, I began to reframe the experience. I came to see the win as a positive omen—not because of the medal, but because I chose not to give up. I found the resilience within myself to finish the tournament, and I recognized that this same resilience would be essential as I moved forward with my cancer treatments.

Interestingly, when the tournament took place in August, I believed that my greatest challenge would be enduring the full course of radiation and chemotherapy. Now, halfway through my treatment regimen, I realize that my real challenge is staying committed to eating. Maintaining my caloric intake is crucial to help my body recover, but the treatments have severely affected my saliva glands and taste buds, leaving me without an appetite. Eating has become a difficult and painful task, with mouth sores and a sore throat caused by radiation making even small meals arduous. Week three was especially tough, but by week four, increased pain medication provided some relief. Despite these challenges, I am determined to stay resilient and continue eating, relying on mouth rinses and washes to help keep my calories up and support my recovery.

Thank-you for the Gifts

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 03:15:55 GMT

Gratitude for your Thoughtful Support

Darcy and I want to express our heartfelt gratitude for the many beautiful and thoughtful messages, cards, and gifts we have received. Each gesture has brought comfort and lifted our spirits during this time.

Homemade Comforts

We have been fortunate to enjoy a variety of delicious homemade soups and baked goods, which have been thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated. These thoughtful offerings have made a real difference in our daily lives, and we are truly thankful for them.

Emotional Impact

Receiving such an outpouring of kindness has been overwhelming in the most positive way. Every text message, emoji, and email has been read, and many have moved us to tears—not from sadness, but from the realization of the deep care, love, and support that surrounds us from family and friends.

Enjoying Gifts and Healing

The beautiful flowers and practical gifts have contributed to my healing journey, offering both comfort and practical help. I want everyone to know how deeply I appreciate being kept in your thoughts and prayers; your support truly makes a difference.

ANITA Mantra expanded

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 17:34:50 GMT

My mantra is a powerful Anchor

Awakening

Tuning into my voice, body and spirit with Honesty

Nurturing

Giving myself rest, compassion, and what my healing requires each day

Integrative

Trust the wisdom that comes from turning inward...introspection

Therapeutic

Speaking and living from my authentic voice, in whatever form it takes...truth

Approach

Resting in God's presence, grace and love as my steady anchor

My Mother: Dr. Nett ("Tussy")

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 03:00:36 GMT

As I navigate this Journey with Cancer, I know I will do it my own WAY, and I have some Role Models in my Life to help Guide me.

My mother, known affectionately to family and friends as Tussy and professionally as Dr. Nett, was an accomplished physician. She dedicated the early years of her career—thirteen in total—to working as a Radiation Oncologist, treating cancer patients at the Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton. Later, she became a pioneer in women’s health by co-founding the Breast Center in Edmonton. This center was the first in the area to offer mammograms, ultrasound services, and early screening and detection consultations all in one location.

In 2006, my mother began her own journey with cancer when a pulmonary node was discovered growing in her lungs. She underwent surgery to remove it and, remarkably, traveled to Europe just six weeks after her operation. As she approached the five-year survival milestone, her lung cancer returned, requiring another surgery. Then, in 2012, the illness came back once more. The third and final surgery removed most of one of her lungs, and from then on, she needed supplemental oxygen.

What stands out most to me about my mother’s approach to her cancer journey was her unwavering stoicism. She never complained about her situation. Even while hospitalized, she continued to teach, guiding student nurses and showing them how to properly perform palpations. That dedication to helping others learn and grow—despite her own illness—is what I remember most. She remained a doctor at heart, always offering wisdom and support to those willing to listen

Answered Prayers: A Journey Through Treatment Scheduling

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 03:00:32 GMT

Grateful I managed to attend Dylan's Bar Ceremony in Person

Initial Consultation and Unexpected Scheduling Conflict

On August 13th, we visited the Athur Child Cancer Center for my initial consultation with both the Radiation Oncologist and the ENT Surgeon. After the doctors concluded their assessments and left the room, the nurse began outlining the schedule for all the upcoming appointments needed to prepare for my treatment. Among these was an appointment with the chemotherapy doctor, set for August 27th.

Hearing this date, my heart immediately sank. We had long known that August 27th was the day of Dylan’s Call to Bar Ceremony in Battleford, Saskatchewan—a significant event for our family. Although my appointment was scheduled for 8:30 AM, I began to wonder if there might be a way to attend both. I even asked the nurse if there was any possibility of rescheduling, which prompted a puzzled look before she left the consultation room to check for alternatives.

During her absence, Darcy expressed his frustration with me. He emphasized that my health should take priority and that it was more important to keep the appointment than to risk any delays in treatment. He reassured me that Dylan would understand and would prefer I focus on my health. Ultimately, I realized Darcy was right, and when the nurse returned, I agreed to keep the chemotherapy appointment on the 27th.

Sharing the News and Emotional Challenges

That evening, as we updated our sons about the day's appointments, I found myself growing emotional. The news of being diagnosed as Stage 3 was heavy, but what affected me more was the prospect of telling Dylan that I would likely miss his ceremony. The thought of not being present on such a milestone day was difficult to accept.

An Unexpected Change in Plans

The following day included several additional hospital appointments. While having lunch in the cafeteria, I received a call from the booking clerk. To my surprise, my chemotherapy appointment was rescheduled and moved up a full week, now set for August 20th. At first, I was relieved and excited—perhaps now there was a chance to attend both the appointment and Dylan’s ceremony. However, I also wondered if this meant my treatments would start earlier, possibly on August 25th. Given the urgency conveyed by Dr. Banarjee, I was concerned about the timeline. Despite calling to confirm the new treatment start date, I was unable to get a definite answer.

Resolution and Gratitude

On August 20th, we arrived on time for the rescheduled chemotherapy appointment. At its conclusion, I was informed that my treatments would begin on Tuesday, September 2nd, after the long weekend. With all the preparatory appointments now completed, I was free to travel and attend Dylan’s Call to Bar Ceremony as planned. I felt immense gratitude—my prayers had truly been answered.

Week 3 Treatment Update

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 02:53:51 GMT

Ahead of the Curve

Medical Check-Up with Dr. Webster

On September 17th, I had my first check-up with my chemotherapy doctor, Dr. Webster. He conducted a thorough physical examination and expressed that he was very impressed with my blood work, describing it as amazing. During our conversation, I shared some of my symptoms, and he explained that many of these are signs that both the radiation and chemotherapy treatments are working. For instance, my left lymph node has become even more swollen and is quite sore; Dr. Webster indicated that this is a sign of the cancer tumor cells being inflamed. He also observed several mouth sores on the back of my throat and tongue, which are side effects of the radiation treatment. Unfortunately, he informed me that these symptoms will likely become worse in the coming weeks. Moving forward, the plan is to stay ahead of the pain by managing my medications, though I admit this has not been easy. I am hoping for better adjustment of my medications next week.

Dental Check-Up and Oral Care

This week, I also had a check-up with my dentist. After her examination, she was pleased with my oral hygiene and rated it as “GOOD” in my file. When I tried to elaborate on my daily efforts to maintain clean teeth, she explained that there are only three categories: Good, Fair, and Poor. Since 90% of patients usually fall into the “Fair” or “Poor” categories, I was thrilled to receive a “GOOD” rating. She was further pleased that I managed to open my mouth wide enough at a second appointment with the dental hygienist to have trays made for daily fluoride treatments. This felt like a real win for me, especially given that radiation puts my teeth at significant risk. I am proud of my commitment to doing jaw exercises three times a day, which helped me open my mouth more fully. Asking for another appointment was also crucial to making this progress.

Reflections on Personal Responsibility

I am reminded of a book I read in 2021 called Second Opinion by Radha Gopolan, MD. The book resonated with me because it advocates for a “BOTH AND” approach to restoring health: Western medicine (30%), Eastern medicine (30%), and “You Power” (30%), which is the responsibility you take for your own health and well-being. The final 10% is left to God, or whatever higher power you believe in. This philosophy continues to inform how I manage my treatment and daily efforts.

Gratitude for the Arthur Child Comprehensive Cancer Center

Sun, 21 Sep 2025 20:59:02 GMT

I am grateful for the fact that we have the brand new state of the art world class Cancer Center 27 minutes away from us!

Proximity and Accessibility

I am truly grateful that the brand new, state-of-the-art, world-class Arthur Child Comprehensive Cancer Center is located just 27 minutes away from us. Its close proximity makes it easy to access for my daily treatments.

Impressive Facilities

From our very first visit, we learned that the Arthur Child Comprehensive Cancer Center is the second largest cancer center in North America. The facility stands out immediately, even as you drive into the parkade, showcasing thoughtful design and ease of navigation throughout the building. Abundant natural light fills the interior, and there are numerous welcoming spaces for both patients and staff.

Supportive Environment

One of the most helpful aspects of our experience is the dedicated team of volunteers, easily recognizable by their red vests. They have consistently assisted us in finding our way, ensuring that our visits are smooth and stress-free.

Quality of Care

The modern and well-designed environment enables the staff to deliver high-quality care. When healthcare professionals work in a positive, comfortable setting, it enhances their ability to provide exceptional service. My personal experience has been marked by exemplary care and compassion from all the doctors, nurses, and support staff.

Growth Through Challenge: My Evolving Relationship with My Husband

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 12:57:18 GMT

The first Gift from this Cancer Journey - My improved relationship with Darcy

Growth Through Challenge: My Evolving Relationship with My Husband

Early Years and Conflict Resolution

My relationship with my husband has undergone significant transformation over the years. In our early days together, like many couples, we faced many challenges, which at times led to tension, conflict, and even acrimony. I am deeply grateful for the Positive Intelligence program, which introduced me to some valuable tools that helped address some of the underlying causes of tension, many of which stemmed from my own Saboteurs and behaviors.

Growth in Conflict Resolution

One of the most significant achievements in our relationship has been our ability to “recover faster” from disagreements. In recent years, both of us have become more adept at reaching compromise, no matter the issue. This progress reflects our shared understanding that expressing our differences is not only normal, but also beneficial for our growth as a couple.

The Impact of My Health Crisis

My recent health challenges have brought an unexpected abundance of gifts, chief among them the further evolution of my relationship with Darcy. This shift began even before my cancer diagnosis, as he showed remarkable empathy towards my early symptoms—persistent earache and difficulty eating. He encouraged me to seek additional medical advice and supported me throughout the process. After my first consultation on July 8 and a STAT ultrasound, I called him from my car and asked him not to overreact—a request rooted in my belief that the tests would simply uncover the cause of my discomfort.

I sometimes joked, “De-NILE (read denial) is not just a river in Egypt,” convinced my issue was a strange travel virus that could be resolved with medication. Yet, Darcy remained steadfastly supportive as I underwent numerous tests, reassuring me that, whatever the diagnosis, we would get through it together. Daily hugs became routine, and he would frequently check in, asking, “How’s my girl?” Since the diagnosis, caring for me has become his main priority. He has driven me to appointments and prepared most of our meals—though, with the generous gifts of food from others, even he has had less to cook.

Deepening Connection

One interesting change is that we now sleep in separate bedrooms due to my inability to wear my snore guard. Still, I feel closer and more loving towards my husband than ever before. Our conversations have grown deeper, and while I shed more tears these days, even Darcy was moved to tears once—a moment I cherished, as it revealed the depth of his concern and vulnerability. It made me realize how devastating succumbing to my illness would be for him, which strengthened my resolve to overcome this cancer and recover from the treatment.

Commitment and Gratitude

Through sickness and health, Darcy has remained by my side, just as he promised 31 years ago. My love for him has only grown, and I feel truly blessed to have him as my husband and life partner. He has been nothing short of wonderful, and I am deeply grateful for the life we share.

My Experience with Daily Radiation Treatments

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 17:56:47 GMT

This is me on Day 2 of Radiation Treatment

Overview of Treatment

My primary treatment at the Arthur Child Comprehensive Cancer Center consists of daily radiation sessions—thirty-three in total, scheduled every weekday from September 2nd to October 20th.

Preparation for Radiation

The journey began with the creation of a personalized radiation mask just one day after my initial consultation with the oncologist. The radiation technicians were exceptionally caring, trying to make the experience as relaxing as possible—offering warm blankets and spa music. As I lay on the table, beautiful photographs of flowers adorned the ceiling above me. Once I was comfortable and properly positioned, the technicians marked my chest with a small "tattoo" to help align me accurately with the lasers each day. A warm plastic mesh was then carefully molded over my face and massaged to fit all contours, ensuring my head and neck would be in the same position for each session so the radiation beam could target the tumor precisely. They also performed a new CT scan of my head and neck to capture the latest measurements of my tumor.

Daily Routine

Each day, I change into a hospital gown and house coat before my treatment. The wait is usually brief, and two friendly technicians greet me. First, they confirm my identity by asking my name and date of birth. The treatment table is pre-adjusted for my body, and my legs are comfortably elevated. An amusing detail—my thick Portoguese Horsehair always draws comments, as the technicians must sweep it aside to secure the mask. My hands are restrained to keep my arms at my sides, ensuring I stay perfectly still throughout the session.

Under the Mask

The very first time the mask was placed on me for treatment, I must admit, I felt a surge of panic. The sensation is intensely claustrophobic and restrictive, and it felt even more so when they literally lock me down to the table at my shoulders. The mask presses tightly, requiring me to push my nose and chin upward against it. Thank GOD for my PQ reps and breathing exercises—I immediately focus on slowing my breath, closing my eyes, and entering a calm mental space. My goal is to steady my breathing to about six breaths per minute.

As the machine starts, I continue to do PQ reps by using my fingers to feel the warm blanket. I sometimes wiggle my toes in my shoes to help me stay present. I also try to listen to the music from beneath the loud whirring and banging noises of the radiation machine as it rotates around my head.

The actual treatment on the table lasts about ten minutes. Over time, I became almost conditioned—like Pavlov’s dog—to anticipate the chime that signals the end of the session. When the bell sounds, I know the treatment is finished. The technicians come in, lower the table, and finally unlock my mask. Another day complete!

Awakening Nurturing Integrative Therapeutic Approach – ANITA!

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 17:25:02 GMT

My Additional Healing Approaches

Energy Medicine

I reconnected with my friend and former client, Cathy Wareham, an experienced Energy Medicine Practitioner. Cathy had previously provided me with energy treatments in 2021, which I found deeply calming and restorative. Recently, I have resumed my energy medicine routines with her guidance. Cathy has generously curated and shared a series of short instructional videos, making it easy for me to follow the exercises each morning after completing my Positive Intelligence (PQ) reps and meditation.

What is Energy Medicine? – Link to Energy Medicine Overview

Mindset Shifts through Reading

A friend recommended the book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, which I purchased immediately. The book emphasizes how our thoughts and words shape our experiences. This has motivated me to explore my own deep-rooted beliefs that may have contributed to my diagnosis—not from a place of self-blame, but from curiosity and a desire to understand myself better. Recognizing my resistance to change and possible blind spots, I’ve decided to work with a fellow Positive Intelligence (PQ) Coach to help me on this journey.

Power of Affirmations

One key lesson from the book is the power of affirmations. While I’ve used affirmations in the past before facilitating major events, they were not part of my daily routine. Now, I incorporate affirmations every day as a ritual I share with my sister.

My Daily Routine with My Sister

My sister Ann, who lives in Kauai, Hawaii (four hours behind my time), inspired me to adopt short, high-intensity workouts. We connect on Zoom to exercise together, including my daily jaw exercises to help manage severe trismus caused by my cancer—a condition that limits how wide I can open my mouth. Our sessions also include a five-minute meditation and close with affirmations. The entire routine lasts about 30 minutes and usually takes place at noon for me (early morning for her). These daily connections have become a highlight of my day, helping me reset and refocus.

Nature Therapy

I am a firm believer in nature therapy and feel fortunate to live in Redwood Meadows, surrounded by scenic walking paths. My book club friends and others from the city often join me for walks in the evenings after treatment. Even on days when I can only manage a short stroll, being outdoors always makes a positive difference.

Mind Valley Course

I’ve enrolled in a Mind Valley course called Duality by Jeffrey Allen, which focuses on energy techniques. The course repeatedly appeared in my feeds until I finally signed up—interestingly, this was before my cancer diagnosis. I now believe my subconscious was nudging me toward it. There’s a section on healing the body that I haven’t reached yet, but my goal is to finish the course by the end of October.

Oxygen Advantage

I’ve taken several one-on-one sessions with my yoga instructor, Matthew Furlong, a certified Oxygen Advantage Breathwork Instructor trained by Patrick McKeown. Through these sessions, I’m learning to breathe through my nose and apply various breathing techniques to improve respiratory function. With chemo and radiation causing severe dry mouth, it’s essential to breathe in ways that help keep my mouth moist and free of germs. I often combine these breathwork techniques with PQ reps to slow my breathing, especially during radiation treatments, which helps manage claustrophobia when wearing the radiation mask.

Diagnosis

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 17:18:49 GMT

di·ag·no·sis -the identification of the nature of an illness or other problem by examination of the symptoms.

Medical Concerns and Initial Consultations

By July, my persistent earache had developed into a consistent throbbing pain, and I became acutely aware that my energy levels were not what they used to be. Concerned, I scheduled an appointment with my family physician, Dr. Croteau.

July 8th – General Practitioner Visit

During my appointment with Dr. Croteau, I mentioned a cold sore that I suspected might be responsible for the swelling in my neck. On examination, my neck and cheek were noticeably swollen. Dr. Croteau initially suspected swollen salivary glands (sialadenitis), but upon inspecting my throat, she raised her eyebrow, suggesting that the issue might be related to my throat as well.

Recognizing the potential seriousness of my symptoms, Dr. Croteau ordered a STAT Ultrasound. The urgency became evident when the nurse scheduled the ultrasound for the same day—a detail that, in hindsight, indicated something significant could be happening. At the time, however, I still assumed it was some sort of unusual infection.

Ultrasound Results and Next Steps

A few days later, the nurse contacted me with the ultrasound results. The report revealed a swollen lymph node. As a result, Dr. Croteau promptly scheduled a head and neck CT scan and arranged a referral to an ENT specialist for further evaluation.

Progression of Symptoms and Diagnostic Testing

July 15th – I continued to have difficulty opening my jaw and noticed a tendency to choose softer foods. A strep test was performed, but the results came back negative, ruling out strep throat.

July 19th – I underwent a Head and Neck CT Scan at Rockview Hospital, marking another step in the investigation of my symptoms.

July 22nd – Early in the morning, Dr. Croteau called to inform me that the CT scan confirmed the presence of a tumor. Although I was shocked, I managed to remain calm and asked several questions. Dr. Croteau patiently explained the next steps and what to anticipate with my upcoming consultation with the ENT specialist.

Later that afternoon, I met with Dr. Compton, the ENT specialist. He performed a thorough examination of my throat using a scope and indicated that he believed it was throat cancer, noting that the tumor appeared rather large. He also mentioned that surgery might not be a viable option. The next step would be to have a biopsy of the tumor to confirm the diagnosis, after which I would be referred to an oncologist at the Arthur Child Cancer Center. Dr. Compton explained that they would test the biopsy to determine whether the cancer was HPV-related.

He also ordered a CT scan of my chest, stressing the importance of checking whether the cancer had spread to my lungs, as this information would be crucial in determining the appropriate treatment plan.

Further Diagnostic Testing and Initial Consultations

Chest CT Scan

July 28th – I completed the Chest CT Scan as ordered by Dr. Compton to determine whether the cancer had spread beyond the initial site.

Biopsy Results

July 29th – Dr. Compton called to confirm the biopsy results: I was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma, p16 positive, indicating that the cancer was caused by the HPV virus. Based on information I found online, this type of cancer generally has a better prognosis and outcomes.

Scheduling at Arthur Child Cancer Center

July 31st – The booking clerk from the Arthur Child Cancer Center contacted me to arrange my first appointments. I was scheduled to meet with the dietician on August 6th and to have my initial consultation with an ENT surgeon and a Radiation Oncologist on August 13th.

Meeting with the Dietician

August 6th – I met with Sarah K., my dietician. She provided detailed information about the importance of nutrition throughout treatment, emphasizing the need to maintain weight and adapt to the changes that may occur as a result of the cancer and its therapies. Sarah offered many helpful tips and ideas to support my nutritional needs. The visit to the Arthur Child Comprehensive Cancer Center was overwhelming, but her guidance made a significant difference.

Initial Oncology Consultation and Treatment Planning

August 13th marked my first meeting with Dr. Banerjee the radiation oncologist, alongside Dr. Chandarana the ENT Surgeon. The anticipation leading up to this appointment was a mix of anxiety and hope, and I spent much of the morning meditating and mentally preparing myself. During the physical examination, Dr. Chandarana explained that surgery was not a viable option due to the extent of the tumour in my mouth. Pursuing surgery would have resulted in significant disfigurement, and radiation and chemotherapy would still be necessary. Oddly enough, I felt somewhat relieved by this decision.

Dr. Banerjee then took the time to patiently and kindly walk me through the proposed treatment plan: 33 daily radiation treatments, with chemotherapy administered weekly. He explained that the chemotherapy would enhance the effectiveness of the radiation. His thoroughness and compassion during this explanation were deeply reassuring. When he invited questions, I realized that most of my concerns had already been addressed, except one lingering uncertainty: the stage of my cancer.

When I asked, he told me it was Stage 3. Hearing this felt like a sudden blow—I had hoped it might be Stage 2, even though I knew it was unlikely to be Stage 1. Our minds often search for reassurance. Dr. Banerjee was quick to emphasize, however, that despite the Stage 3 diagnosis—due to tumour size and its presence in both lymph nodes—there was still an 80% chance of cure.

Preparatory Appointments Before Treatment

The following week was filled with a series of preparatory appointments to ensure everything was ready for the start of treatment, which would typically begin two weeks after the radiation mask fitting. My tasks included:

· Completing bloodwork, which would become a weekly routine during treatment

· Having my radiation mask fitted

· Undergoing a dental checkup

· Getting my teeth cleaned—a process that required two visits due to jaw issues

· Having my hearing checked

· Receiving an EKG, which revealed an abnormal sinus rhythm

· Meeting with the chemotherapy team to finalize the treatment plan, which was updated to consist of three high doses of Cisplatin administered in 21-day cycles

Reflections on the Process

Looking back, I feel genuinely grateful for Alberta’s Health Care System. From the moment my family doctor expressed concerns, everything seemed to move swiftly on my behalf—I truly felt fast-tracked. Every health care provider I encountered was not only competent and professional, but also compassionate at every step. I feel incredibly fortunate to live in a province like Alberta, where I have access to such a comprehensive and modern cancer centre.

Early Symptoms

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 17:14:24 GMT

I acknowledge that I was not as self-aware as I thought I was

Journaling the Journey

Friends have encouraged me to journal as part of my cancer journey, so this first reflection focuses on the symptoms that led to my diagnosis.

Initial Symptoms: The Ear Infection

In February, while in Mexico, I developed an ear infection. A local doctor examined my ears and throat, diagnosed infections in both, and prescribed antibiotics, ear drops, and Advil. The symptoms seemed to resolve, but about a month later, the same ear pain returned. I obtained another round of antibiotics from the pharmacist, which again appeared to help.

Persistent Pain and Repeated Treatments

The pain resurfaced a third time, leading to yet another course of antibiotics. This time, the character of the pain changed—it became a dull ache in my left ear that would come and go. By April, still in Mexico, I began mentioning this recurring earache to Darcy but didn’t think much of it.

Seeking Medical Advice Back in Canada

After returning to Canada in April, I visited my regular doctor, Dr. Chang, reporting the persistent dull earache. She noticed fluid behind my eardrum and prescribed a nasal spray, although I’m unsure if it had any effect.

Complications After a Cold

Following a work trip to Toronto at the end of April, I developed a severe cold with a harsh cough. Concerned it might be bronchitis, I made an appointment with Dr. Croteau. Once again, she saw fluid behind my eardrum and observed my throat was red from the cold but found no infection in my ear or chest, diagnosing only a viral illness, so antibiotics were not prescribed.

Travel and Lingering Fatigue

On May 6th, we left for Europe as planned. The first two weeks were spent in Portugal with my brother and sister. My appetite was poor, and all I wanted was Portuguese soup. I remember relying on Tylenol and Advil, justifying their use as necessary for managing stubborn cold symptoms. Although I seemed to recover, I felt exhausted at the end of our stay. Since Darcy was also tired, I attributed our fatigue to the effort of clearing out my father’s house.

Pickleball Tour Across Europe

Next, we embarked on an 11-day Pickleball tour of Prague, Vienna, and Budapest. Though I started out feeling fatigued in Prague, my energy improved over the trip, and we enjoyed the tour despite the intense pace and packed activities. I continued to use Advil and Tylenol to get through the days.

Homecoming and More Exhaustion

We returned from Europe on June 1st, both struggling with jet lag. Without my sleeping pills—delayed with our luggage—I had trouble sleeping for several days. We soon traveled to Saskatchewan to help Dylan settle into a new home and then spent time at a beautiful lake resort with friends, followed by a restful week at the lake. Darcy and I both felt the cumulative exhaustion from so much travel and activity, which seemed a reasonable explanation for our tiredness.

Escalating Symptoms in July

By early July, my energy levels noticeably dropped, and the dull earache persisted. I began using a warm beanbag for relief. I also realized my diet had changed; I struggled to eat larger foods like burgers, having trouble opening my mouth, though I wasn’t sure why.

Energy, Intuition, and Reflection

It’s interesting to reflect that, according to some Pranic Healing literature I’ve read, changes in the energy body can be early signs of disease. In Mexico, my cousin noticed how tired I seemed and asked me about it, even though I didn’t think I looked or acted fatigued. Perhaps my energy body was shifting due to the cancer before I became aware. Was she more sensitive to it as a cancer survivor herself? Her comments have made me reflect on whether I was as self-aware as I believed, or if my conviction about being healthy and strong—mentally and physically—was overriding any warning signs.

Lesson Learned - Navigating Medical Reports

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 17:08:44 GMT

A crucial lesson: do not try to interpret a medical report on your own.

A crucial lesson: do not try to interpret a medical report on your own. After my diagnosis, I read my chest CT scan report and panicked at the phrase “solid pulmonary nodules,” fearing it meant lung cancer and a poor prognosis. Fortunately, Darcy read further and found, “No specific evidence of metastatic disease in the Thorax,” though the report recommended a follow-up CT scan. This is where I used my “SAGE” power of exploration: I called my GP, who explained everything clearly in a virtual appointment. She reassured me there was no evidence of cancer in my lungs—what a relief! My sister-in-law, a doctor, also helped clarify medical terminology when I shared the report with her.

The Power of Mindset

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 17:05:40 GMT

Discerning between Self empathy and love and Self Pity

During a recent visit, the dental hygienist Stacy shared a motivating note from Dr. Banerjee, who had set a clear goal on my medical form: to cure my cancer. Stacy pointed out that not every patient receives such an optimistic prognosis, and she often senses who will overcome their diagnosis based on their mindset and outlook.

She spoke candidly about how many patients struggle with motivation and mental health following a cancer diagnosis. For some, routines like oral care start to feel pointless, as they begin preparing for the worst. “Why bother?” they ask, resigning themselves to putting their affairs in order. I assured Stacy that I intend to be among those who persevere, fully aware of the importance of maintaining a positive mindset.

Yet, I have learned that sustaining hope is not always easy. Tears have become a more frequent companion since my diagnosis—not only from sadness, but also from the effort to accept and acknowledge my emotions. There is much to grieve through this illness, and part of healing is accepting and letting go of what is being lost. Sometimes, this means facing physical changes head-on. For example, just this morning I noticed my weight has dropped about five pounds below my usual 140. The loss is real —“Say Goodbye to my B Cups.” I expected some weight loss, but it’s a challenge to stay within Dr. Banerjee’s recommended five-percent limit, and there are still weeks of treatment ahead.

When these emotions surface, I allow myself to feel them. After my tears, Darcy made me a high-calorie smoothie to help keep my strength up. Each day, I strive to distinguish self-empathy from self-pity, nurturing hope rather than despair. Ultimately, this journey is about mindset—having faith in recovery and believing I will overcome both cancer and its treatments.

Dental and Oral Care During Treatment

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 15:34:08 GMT

Preparing for cancer treatment required a thorough dental check-up, and I am grateful to have met Stacy, an exceptionally skilled and kind dental hygienist. She succeeded where others had not in emphasizing the importance of proper oral hygiene. While I’ve always attended regular cleanings, I realized my brushing and flossing habits needed improvement. With upcoming radiation, oral care became critical. Fortunately, my teeth were in relatively good shape, with only minor cavities that could likely be reversed with diligent flossing and fluoride. I now use my Waterpik after every meal, brush thoroughly, and floss at least twice a day.

I highly recommend investing in a Waterpik (around $80). Seeing what it removes after each use is eye-opening; the leftover “gunk” is what turns into plaque and cavities. Due to my radiation treatments and reduced saliva, I find I need to use my Waterpik and brush immediately after meals.

Understanding HPV and Its Impact

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 15:28:44 GMT

The Importance of Vaccination

My journey with throat cancer began with the human papillomavirus (HPV) as the cause. Before my diagnosis, I knew very little about HPV—aside from vague news about vaccines for girls, I was unfamiliar with the virus itself. Here’s what I’ve learned: HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection, composed of over 200 related viruses spread through sexual skin-to-skin contact. Most infections resolve on their own within two years and often present no symptoms. However, some high-risk strains can cause cancers such as cervical, head and neck, and others. In fact, most sexually active people likely have or have had HPV.

One of my key takeaways is the vital role of the HPV vaccine. This vaccine protects against the most common and dangerous types of the virus, reducing future health risks and cancer chances. Today, many young people of all genders receive the vaccine through school programs. For example, my son Dylan has completed two out of three recommended doses during law school, and my son Ryan is scheduled to receive all three. If you know anyone under 40, encourage them to get vaccinated.

elevatingpotential

Reflections on One of My Heroes: Shirley Curle – Grandma Curle – Mother-in-Law

Remembering Shirley Curle

A Woman of Many Talents and Deep Devotion

Active and Engaged

An Artistic Soul

Crafting Treasures

A Passion for Gardening

Simple and Delicious Cooking

Creative Memories

Capturing Life’s Moments

Games and Connection

A Role Model for Retirement

Enduring Gratitude

Weeks 4 and 5 Post Radiation Treatment: Progress and Gratitude

Week 4 Update

Week 5 Update

Family Support and Special Moments

Week 3 Post Radiation Treatment Update

Progress and Challenges During Recovery

Positive Developments

Ongoing Challenges

Week 2 Post Radiation Treatment Update

Overview

What’s Going Well

Current Challenges

Focus for the Coming Week

Week 1 Post-Treatments: Entering Recovery

My new look - Anita uncovered

Transitioning into Recovery

What to Expect in the First Two Weeks

Positive Developments

Current Challenges

Strategies for Coping

Daily Adaptations

Completion of Radiation and Chemotherapy Treatments

Formal Radiation and Chemotherapy Treatments Complete

The Recovery Phase

Plans for the Immediate Future

Upcoming Follow-Up and Next Steps

Reflections Moving Forward

Discovering a Path to Rest: ANITA Strategies and Prayer Lead to a Midnight Miracle

Returning to ANITA Strategies

Returning to ANITA Strategies

The Power of Prayer and a Simple Change

Lasting Relief and Gratitude

The Missing Piece That Helped Solve My Phlegm Challenge

Struggling With Phlegm After Feeding Tube Placement

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Challenges During Thanksgiving Weekend

Emotional Regulation and Support

Discovering the Missing Piece

Improvement Through Consistent Practice

The Evolving Relationship with My Sister Ann

Growing closer to my sister has been a GIFT!

Our Daily Routine

Ann’s Reaction and Perspective on Cancer

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Reflections on Thanksgiving and Family

Gratitude for Family Togetherness

Thanksgiving Plans and Anticipation

Quiet Weekend Learnings

Thankfulness for Support

Week 6 Update

Feeling Like a Cancer Patient

The Toughest Week Yet

Starting the Feeding Tube

Managing Phlegm and Throat Discomfort

Sleep Challenges

Radiation Burns and Wound Care

Progress and Looking Ahead

What to Expect After Treatment

The Importance of Nutrition in My Cancer Recovery

Nutrition: A Critical Factor in Healing

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Early Expectations and Personal Determination

The Unexpected Impact of Radiation

Adapting to New Challenges

Making the Decision for a Feeding Tube

The Procedure and Moving Forward