I acknowledge that I was not as self-aware as I thought I was
Journaling the Journey
Friends have encouraged me to journal as part of my cancer journey, so this first reflection focuses on the symptoms that led to my diagnosis.
Initial Symptoms: The Ear Infection
In February, while in Mexico, I developed an ear infection. A local doctor examined my ears and throat, diagnosed infections in both, and prescribed antibiotics, ear drops, and Advil. The symptoms seemed to resolve, but about a month later, the same ear pain returned. I obtained another round of antibiotics from the pharmacist, which again appeared to help.
Persistent Pain and Repeated Treatments
The pain resurfaced a third time, leading to yet another course of antibiotics. This time, the character of the pain changed—it became a dull ache in my left ear that would come and go. By April, still in Mexico, I began mentioning this recurring earache to Darcy but didn’t think much of it.
Seeking Medical Advice Back in Canada
After returning to Canada in April, I visited my regular doctor, Dr. Chang, reporting the persistent dull earache. She noticed fluid behind my eardrum and prescribed a nasal spray, although I’m unsure if it had any effect.
Complications After a Cold
Following a work trip to Toronto at the end of April, I developed a severe cold with a harsh cough. Concerned it might be bronchitis, I made an appointment with Dr. Croteau. Once again, she saw fluid behind my eardrum and observed my throat was red from the cold but found no infection in my ear or chest, diagnosing only a viral illness, so antibiotics were not prescribed.
Travel and Lingering Fatigue
On May 6th, we left for Europe as planned. The first two weeks were spent in Portugal with my brother and sister. My appetite was poor, and all I wanted was Portuguese soup. I remember relying on Tylenol and Advil, justifying their use as necessary for managing stubborn cold symptoms. Although I seemed to recover, I felt exhausted at the end of our stay. Since Darcy was also tired, I attributed our fatigue to the effort of clearing out my father’s house.
Pickleball Tour Across Europe
Next, we embarked on an 11-day Pickleball tour of Prague, Vienna, and Budapest. Though I started out feeling fatigued in Prague, my energy improved over the trip, and we enjoyed the tour despite the intense pace and packed activities. I continued to use Advil and Tylenol to get through the days.
Homecoming and More Exhaustion
We returned from Europe on June 1st, both struggling with jet lag. Without my sleeping pills—delayed with our luggage—I had trouble sleeping for several days. We soon traveled to Battleford to help Dylan settle into a new home and then spent time at the Old Man Dam with friends, followed by a restful week at the lake. Darcy and I both felt the cumulative exhaustion from so much travel and activity, which seemed a reasonable explanation for our tiredness.
Escalating Symptoms in July
By early July, my energy levels noticeably dropped, and the dull earache persisted. I began using a warm beanbag for relief. I also realized my diet had changed; I struggled to eat larger foods like burgers, having trouble opening my mouth, though I wasn’t sure why.
Energy, Intuition, and Reflection
It’s interesting to reflect that, according to some Pranic Healing literature I’ve read, changes in the energy body can be early signs of disease. In Mexico, my cousin noticed how tired I seemed and asked me about it, even though I didn’t think I looked or acted fatigued. Perhaps my energy body was shifting due to the cancer before I became aware. Was she more sensitive to it as a cancer survivor herself? Her comments have made me reflect on whether I was as self-aware as I believed, or if my conviction about being healthy and strong—mentally and physically—was overriding any warning signs.